Is the consolation prize for dieting without results a hearty mental pat on the back--"nice try, Self"? Are there little diet angels watching over me, lobbying to their king to cut me a break--pleading, "just two pounds, your Godliness, then we will go back to watching over the sick and needy"? What happened to "no pain, no gain"? When did it become "a definite excess of pain, with a slight chance of minimal gain"?
No wonder people fall off the diet wagon. I have found myself uttering un-pleasantries out of hunger--such as "I'm so hungry I could eat Joshy's poopy diaper" and "Just because that taco's innards spilled on the floor, there's no reason to waste it." These are the words of a desperate individual. I am starting to wonder if people have been institutionalized because of mental illness induced by Jenny Craig. If so, that woman should probably have been sued a million times over.
On a daily basis, one encounters many potentially annoying situations--a stubbed toe, a toilet clog, an aggressive driver cut-off. On the irritation-o-meter, consider where you would rate these things on a day when you enjoyed a frappucino and a bagel for breakfast versus a day that began with a grapefruit and a carefully-measured half-cup of steel-cut oats blended with a tablespoon of brown rice-protein powder (a concoction I've dubbed "proatmeal").
The real question though comes down to something quite simple--does dieting turn me into a bitch? Of course one can be miserable and kind at the same time, but I don't think I'm evolved enough on the morality scale to pull it off. Perhaps if I continue dieting, I will lose friends, ostracize my husband, make my child resent me eternally. Anyone with a degree in Psychology or a similar field such as Entemology, would say "For goodness sake, you are ruining your life--quit dieting now, while you still have some semblance of happiness! Do you want to sit here in six years, alone, broke and (perhaps) skinny, saying 'Why didn't I give up dieting before I lost everything that mattered to me?'"
They say that more murders happen in the summer months, that people are so physically uncomfortable they would kill. I am willing to hypothesize that dieting leads people to commit crimes as well--and like the problem of interracial crime--we may be looking at a society plagued by "skinny on fat" crime and vice-versa. Many would argue that America is suffering from an obesity problem, when in actuality the demise of our once-glorious country wears the beautiful bikini bod of a Nutrisystem spokesmodel.